The series finale that marked the end of the 11 year long fun ride that was this show - Frasier.

I've always had this habit of associating  television shows, movies, songs, books with a certain way they make me feel  - and when I think of Frasier, I think of the warm cozy apartment of Elliott Bay Towers and a strange calmness takes over me. I feel more at ease. That's why Frasier has become my go-to show for when I am  restless or anxious in life.

It was for the same reason I started re-watching the series last month and it worked - like grandma's home remedy. I was feeling less rushed and my thoughts were more structured. I devoured through the episodes till I got to the finale, which is when I noticed something for the first time.

In his farewell speech, Frasier talks of new beginnings, of taking risks...referring to his decision to move to a new city, and I couldn't help but feel the same restlessness seeping in, only this time it wasn't for myself, but for the character that I had grown to adore. I felt sad for him, scared of what might become of him, of how he might never actually experience the marital bliss that his younger brother was finally blessed with, or have the good fortune of spending his golden years amongst family and loved ones like his father.

I realized that I could never take such a leap unless life forced me to. I could never throw away the known, the familiar, the safe...for what countless possibilities were out there. Sure I would wonder, but I would  never have the courage to act.

Think of these two choices. You are well into your 60s and one quiet evening, seated on your favorite piece of furniture, sipping a hot cup of tea, you are reminiscing about the years that have gone by, all the summers, all the memories, all the people you met and you are smiling. Now would you like for those memories, happy as they are, to be like a few big blocks of events, monotonous at times but secured to a strong base, or would you like to see them as a million tiny blocks, all very eventful and thrilling but adrift in space and time ?

I'd rather pick the former and by that I mean, having the majority of one's memories about ONE place, or ONE person, having a glue to which your whole life is secured, instead of having a billion memories, each of a different person, or a different place.

  

This marks a big difference between the two brothers on this show as well - while Frasier had a new love interest every other episode (although always pursued with the utmost sincerity), Niles always moved from one long term relation to another, often fixating on making each of them last. What is to be noted is that they each end up with exactly what they had been working towards - Niles with a wife and a new born and Frasier with a brand new career in a brand new city - both happy with their share.

They stand for the same daunting choice every person has to make at some point in life - build upon existing memories or make new ones?

Friend: Gawd it's hot!

Me: I know! Wish you'd have sneaked some beer from your office..

Friend: Yeah, hope they're selling some inside. I wish I'd picked a different day, school night's always crowded 

Me: Oh well. Look at them, taking selfies, posing like idiots, then they'll rush to upload it somewhere and go, 'look at me! I'm so classy and popular' It's such a wannabe age

Friend: Hahah yeah I can't remember when I was that age..I mean we're only 23 so technically it hasn't been that long 

Me: Right..but it's so true like as you grow older, the younger lot starts to look more and more lame

Friend: And you wanna say to them, "prance around all you want now! but wait till you start working for that cash.."

Me: Haha yeah..wow! we sound like an old grumpy couple

Friend: Hey! I'm sure I'm younger than a lot of people here *looks around miserably 

Me: Well at least one of them  *points to a balding head in the distance

Friend: *groan

Apologies for a rather long hiatus! Turns out leaving facebook drew me away from a lot of social media altogether. It still serves as a most delightful vacuum, but I figured it's time I reignite my love of writing and return to the blogging world. 

This morning I read my last post and realized how far back in time it was. I had yet to sit for my final university exams, or secure a job. I was confused, anxious, eager to get away from the student life and start earning. Now, a little over a year later, I'm sitting at my desk at work. 20 min to go before the lunch break gets over and it dawns on me how much life has changed. 

I'd say the transition from being a student to a full-time working adult was gratifying. Moving out of the dorm, renting out my own place, managing all the bills, finances, buying groceries, repairing a leaky faucet, moving on from a hundred first dates to a stable relationship..shit got real!

Let's see if I'm able to chronicle some of the best/worst moments from the past year and years to come, but rest assured, it feels great to be back!