No to love

6:34 PM Priyanka 2 Comments

All right here's the situation. There's someone you know who really really likes you, has known you for all his life, is always there for you when you need him and has hardly ever missed a chance to let you know how much he cares...and yet, you never get yourself to accept this as something more than friendship. You may have your own reasons but nothing that isn't overpowered by his why?

Fine I'm bad at this third person analysis...
Yesterday I sat and tried to sort myself out...why was it that I'd always try to push him away despite everything that he'd done for me? He is one of my closest friend, and nothing I may use to justify my behavior towards him, can beat his sincerity towards our relation.

It wasn't long before I knew...It was sudden but it all became clear. There were 2 reasons.

We all do realize that all of the fun in achieving something lies in the chase, and not in the achievement. What I mean is, and I am speaking on behalf of both guys and girls here, it's always fun liking, stalking, fantacizing, impressing the opposite sex, but once you know that the person's feelings are in your favor, you lose interest, the charm's over and you no longer see the thrill in impressing the person anymore. In short, unless it's an absolute rare case of true love, the feelings tend to fade away once the impression has been made. And this stands as my reason number one. What if, I give in to what I've been trying to put away for so long, what if I do give our relationship a shot? And then what happens if he loses interest? It's always fun playing hard to get cuz you're sure that things'll come around and you'll still get to keep your dignity.

And secondly, I admit I am a little high maintenence, not all fanatic like Monica in friends, but I do have my share of hopes and expectations and although I never express my disappointments openly, it does break my heart when the person doesn't live up to what I'd gauged of him. This may be something small like me expecting him to realize that my day didn't go well over an msn chat, without me having to tell him anything. I'm ready to put my heart and soul into a relation and I expect kind of the same from the other end. He has never disappointed me as a friend, but with our relationship upgrading, so will my hopes...what if he's not able to keep up...It'll only hurt both of us if one of us is not happy...

Keyword: Risk
I can't know anything for sure unless I try right?
I guess I'll know when I'm ready to...

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2 precious thoughts..:

Manasvi said...

But you may not want to regret your whole life for not trying.
If you are never hurt, you havent lived life. Yeh toh suna hoga??
Oh and one more thing, no matter how hard you try, love will find its way :))

Anonymous said...

i agree wid manasvi...:)
wel gud luck..:) and m sure he'll not reject u...jst try as i did..:)