This was a new feeling. Having been an A-list student all my life at school, it suddenly felt unnatural for me to be getting mediocre grades at college, and "unnatural" felt like an understatement. I was devastated. The results for the 3rd semester were revealed yesterday. I was excieted since my exams had gone well, really really well. I was expecting a GPA above 4 in the least (the maximum being 5). The past 2 semesters had landed me at a measly 3.82 and that's just not "respectable" in my opinion. This time, I thought I'd finally hit the 4 and so much depended on that.

Considering I always find myself at home when the results come out, this time, I'd decided I'll give mom dad a surprise by the checking the results myself first, the usual procedure mostly being me raising the entire house to a state of chaos by declaring that the results are out and then the 3 of us gathering around my PC with fingers-crossed and waiting for the computer-generated verdict for my future.

The last 2 times it had been a disaster, with me eventually having to withdraw myself from the PC with a mournful look on my face and my parents despite feeling mad at me for the bad grades, having to smile and hug me and say that things'll be all right, and that all I had to do was work harder. But this attitude never lasts long. The moment they start noticing that you're over the whole death phase, and are beginning to get into the normal fun routine, they'll make sure to ruin it for you every single chance they get by reminding you of the results.

But yesterday? Nah...I'd planned it to be wayy different. With me checking up my super-cool grades before-hand, making a bit of a scene at first and then cherishing the proud look on mom dad's faces when I reveal the grades. But like everything else, it didnt happen the way I'd planned. Instead, here I am, neck-deep in guilt and mostly anger. Guilt because so far I haven't told them that the results are out and my CGPA has dropped to a disturbing 3.5, and anger because this was not supposed to happen. I know I'd worked really really hard this sem, and the exams had been so good. I'd never been this confident of my result! So then, how good is good? What does it really take to get to the top?

Urgh! The grades aren't as much of a trouble as the phase that mom dad'll go through once it's brought to their notice. I hate them feeling that all this money their spending on me is going to waste, or worse that I don't realize the opportunities coming my way and am just another good girl spoilt by the college culture, and nothing nothing I say in my defence would change that!

Man! Times are hard...