Girl on the move

I've been busy. Clearly. And only recently did I happen to realize how much I miss blogging! It was an unintended hiatus and I beg for your pardon.

What I did, while I wasn't blogging

So these past few months are spent in travelling, visiting my homeland, and getting started with my final year at college. For some reason it seems like a promising year, I've grown as a person, coming to terms with the way things are and will always be, I've figured out some of my own priorities and dreams, although for most part it still remains an enigma.

Pretty many thoughts have crossed my mind over this break but given my miniscule-termed memory, it would be an impossible feat to pen them all down separately. So I've decided to categorize these random thoughts under one word "people".

Born quite normal and alike, people grow on to take the shape of this weird and varied lot. It's always been a habit of mine to just gaze at people (not in a creepy way) specially at public places and observe - observe how they all cling to things that feed their sense of worth, how they try to hide their deepest insecurities and how different they are in their demeanor, yet sharing a connection with each other at some level.

People think, people communicate, people are privileged enough to be the creators of their own fate. Why is that so hard to comprehend?

Yesterday a friend informed me about these 2 documentaries that were being screened in town, Yagoon Calling (based on the Punk culture in Burma as of June 2011) and Wariazone (based on the transgenders in Indonesia). It had been quite some time since I'd given my wholehearted attention to a socio-political issue so I was more than willing to join him. Long story short, the movies were good. I'm probably not gonna review them here for my own thoughts on these matters are not concrete. However, what kept striking me for most part of the evening was how different people are, in their beliefs, in their approach to a problem, even in their sense of who they are. I'm no anthropologist, but it wasn't quite hard to gauge the complexity of my race.

Recently some of my friends have been feeling under pressure, a few because they can't get their parents to agree with their choice of a life-partner, a few because they've been trying to excel academically for so long that they're exhausted and want to give up, and a few like me, who just can't figure out what they wanna do next!

If only people could ease-up a little, try to rise above those obsolete social norms, and picture the world in a different light, things could get a lot better.

This post is about gratitude. Something so simple, yet so rare.




We have a canteen system in our university. Each one having stalls representing different cuisines. Over the years of feasting at your favorite canteens, you grow familiar with the stall owners. In return they start recognizing you too, often to the extent of catching on with your taste and preparing your order in advance, and if kind and trusting enough, they might sometimes let you pay them later or round up your bills and spare you from rummaging your pockets for change.

Some of them however make you wonder.

There's this old chap who mans his stall with the help of an assistant and a cook. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was the reincarnation of grumpy the dwarf. The only thing that makes me look past that perpetual frown on his face, is the mouth-watering assortment of dishes on display at his stall. These few weeks I've been visiting his stall on a regular basis and each day seems to lay on him fresh griefs and miseries. He would be stingy in the portions he gives, would haggle over the prices and always sound pathetic, forgetful and miserable. Almost enough to make you lose your appetite even before the start of your meal. My first reaction towards his behavior was pity. I figured the guy had a lot of troubles to deal with and the least I could do was not hate him for that, but sometimes his insolence would cross the line and I would wonder if things are really that bad or if it's just him.

They say with gratitude the universe is infinitely abundant.

There's a metaphysical idea (as showcased in the movie happythankyoumoreplease) that the universe is listening to you, it's always hearing you and so if something great is happening, you can say, "I'm happy! Thank you! n yea yea yea I'll take more of that, I'll order more of that you hear me?" Gratitude is this really powerful force that so few have ever really felt. Like that old guy we're all a little restless and dissatisfied with what we have because everything culturally is trying to show us what we don't -"if only I had that I would be happier" but even after getting that, we wake up the next morning, still unhappy.

The only worthwhile prayer is a prayer of thanks. To be grateful for what you have and not sad or angry for what you don't. I wish he'd realize that.

I maybe 12 years late but I don't think my reaction was any different from those countless kids in the 90s who cried themselves to sleep the night the final episode of Alf was aired. The show has been one of those special childhood memories for me but I'd never managed to see the end. Few weeks back I happened to dig up the old episodes and after numerous fits of laughter, I felt myself falling in love with the furry alien wise-guy all over again!




He stood for everything alien to us, simplicity, innocence, pure joy..I loved to see his take on our day-to-day issues, and realized how easy it all becomes if we for a second, detach ourselves from who we are and think as an alien, like they say, the simplest answer is most likely the right one.

This is perhaps the first time that I'm writing a blog post without anything on my mind. It's probably gonna end up as a major fail, but who cares? Life is too short to worry about the consequences of things that give you happiness! Like that dessert you skipped last night? Who cares if it makes you fat? You'll get back on your ass and jog it off in a few laps! Take charge of your life, be the person you've always wanted to be! A while back a friend of mine seemed to be worried about this rift she'd had with an old friend of hers. Here's how the conversation went:

(friend) "I dunno man, I never have a problem with anybody, she's the only person I've ever managed to have a clash with, I feel I should make things right. I feel like its wrong on my part to not like her over such a small reason" 

(me) "Dude, know that girl from our database lab? Ms.know-it-all? Well I hate her, for existing. Its okay to not like someone sometimes, we're humans, we're complicated, we're not built to get along with everyone" 

"Still man, we were friends once, I mean she did wrong me, but then I just feel like I should forgive her and make it right, you know, like no enemies no hatred? 

"You're just trying to live a saint's life, don't be guilty about things that didn't turn out well, there's a reason behind everything that happens. Clear your heart and let go of the past" 

"Okay you're not the right person to talk to about this."

So I'm considered the less sentimental one. Whatever. I had a dream about high-school few days back. And waking up, it struck me how long its been, how those days appear to be millions of miles away, how fast everything changes and how little all our worries matter! It was overwhelming but also scary. It's like in the blink of an eye this present will turn into past and all we can do, is give it a longing stare over our shoulders once in a while. As of now, I feel excited to discover how life unfolds for me, there are so many things to do, so many adventures to face, who has the time to count one's enemies?